陌零(29)
风顿时从四面八方涌过来,简怿侧头看了看凌苏陌,她正惬意地理着头发,对着天空微微眯眼。“Are you ok?”
“I feel good.”后座传出Ken闷闷的声音。
“Well.”简怿凑过去为凌苏陌拉上另一道安全带,在她唇上肆意吮了一会,回味着余留的清新的可乐味,麻利地绑了个马尾,“Let's go.”
风、云、上好的柏油路俱在流逝,有形的无形的都扑面而来,所有景致都一瞬即逝,所有感官都由迟滞变麻木,唯有精神在越放越空,仿佛外界的一切都不再通过之前的途径由感官收集采纳,而是全映射在心中,由灵魂直接感知。主客观已经颠倒,世界好似已不是实体,而是凭空臆想出来的悬浮于真实之上的维面。
简怿尽量控制着加速,她开车不似多数女人一样优柔寡断,没有大油门和急刹车,平稳而快准狠地穿插在因高速而略显拥挤的车流里。方向盘在她手里好像变成了一件乐器,随着她的手势变幻而演奏出漂亮的乐曲。
她从深色的护目镜里瞥了右边的凌苏陌一眼,她正扬着嘴角,头发被风压在椅背上,并没有不适的样子。她放下心,专注于前方,踩下一脚油门。凌苏陌的嘴角越弯越美,最后从那抹流畅的闪电里飞溢出畅快的笑声。
风缠绕在笑声中,细密地织成网带走了思考。色块从耳后飞跃过去,世界好像只余下充实的空白。灵魂从躯体里淌出来,渐渐充盈在天地之间,突然就产生出一种睥睨万物的豪情。在最初的冲动过去后随之而来的是平静,那是种由于深深了解了天地浩大,醒悟到自己有多渺小,激情和理智同归于尽后的平静,像在真空中熄灭的火或者一片寂灭了的海。空白。空白最终战胜了所有,填充了所有,俨然成为残存的唯一真理。
“嫁给他吧。”在旅馆门口停下,看着Ken把他们的行李搬下车,简怿把这句话送进凌苏陌耳朵里,扭头,上车,启动,向城外绝尘而去。
空旷的高速路上喷发出乱七八糟的音乐,忽喜忽悲。
回到公司,简怿从财务部平调到策划部,没过多久又升到策划部经理。这跟她那次为公司带来巨大收益的发布会方案撇不开关系。凌苏陌在Ken的假期结束之后没有回来,却与Ken一起去了意大利。
六个月后,一封国外邮件出现在她的收件箱。
“What you said that day destroyed our tour. She had never □□iled since you said that, though she insisted that she should finish the tour. The only good thing was that at least she started to consider to give me a chance. What more can I say?I could only say ‘thank you.’.
But I also mean to add that you are really a special or strange person, Yi Jian. You always hide yourself behind masks, which is one of the reasons why I want Sue to leave you. You can't deny that you can't give her your heart in complete. To be honest, it's no surprise that you pushed her away. I know you would do this as I pointed it to you. But I still need to thank you, for your courage, for your final decision, from the bottom of my heart. Maybe you already overcame some barriers in your heart when you made this decision. Congratulations.
She travelled all around Italy on her own and refused to contact me after the beginning of her journey. I didn't receive her mail until two days ago, she told me that she wanted to go back and asked me to book a ticket for her. We both know what is meaning, right?She has made up her mind as well. I do't know how she has spent these months, and I don't know how hard her fight has been, what I only know is that it's not easy for her to make this choice. She needs a talk with you. I hope you can go to the airport to pick her up, the flight information is in appendix.”
“PS: She kissed my face for the first time this morning. I'm sorry for what will happen soon, but all about this is because I love her.”
作者有话要说:信件内容:
那天你说的话毁了我们的旅行。自那以后她再也没有笑过,但她还是坚持完成了旅行。唯一一件好事是她开始考虑给我一个机会。我还能说什么呢?我只能说“谢谢”。
但我还是想补充一点,简怿,你真的是个很特别、或者说奇怪的人。你总是把自己藏在面具后面,这就是我想要苏陌离开你的原因之一。你不能否认,你给不了她一颗完整的心。老实说,我一点也不意外你会把她推开,当我指出来(你道貌岸然)的时候,我就知道你会这么做。但我仍然要谢谢你,从心底深处谢谢你的勇气、你最后的决定。也许当你做出这个决定的时候,你已经克服了你心里的一些障碍。祝贺你。
她自己一个人去周游意大利了,旅行开始后就拒绝与我联系。直到两天前我才收到她的邮件,说她想回去了,让我给她订张票。我们都知道这意味着什么,对吗?她也已经下了自己的决心。我不知道踏实怎么度过这几个月的,我也不知道她经历的心理斗争有多艰难,我唯一知道的只是对她来说,做出这个决定是很不容易的,她需要跟你谈谈。我希望你能去机场接她,航班信息在附件里。